warm clothes....

Well, i never really appreciate how nice to have warm clothes to wear, nice washroom to do business as well as even a bicycle to travel..

So, i spent the last weekend at the Outward Bound school in Lumut...arrived there at about 1pm after a blur journey....there were towns that i never thought they were in Selangor: Sekinchan, Ijok and dunno what else...had registration session..man! there were so many forms to fill and actually had our temperature checked due to the H1N1 outbreak....worst of it, they actually confiscated our handphone and all the snacks that we brought.....how nice...since i left school 4 years ago, i never get my phone confiscated at any camp...seriously, first time....After chucking our luggage at the dorms, we went down for our sailing course....well, we had a 2 hours crash course on how to manage a sail as we are going out for an expedition the next day.....imagine where ppl take a day to undergo that course, we manage it in 2 hours.....those terms that we had to remember: oars, tilttler, york, ruddher, fenders, main sail, mizzen sail, jib sail, and the list go on an on....by the time the instructor reach 3 quarter of what he was supposed to teach, i already forgot what he taught before that.....Finally, dinner....we went to Sitiawan town( i think it is) to have dinner at some restaurant name 578....and the restaurant opposite is 933...guess those sitiawan ppl like numbers....

Next day, went out sailing at 8.30am.....row and row and row....seriously remind us of the children song " Row, row, row ur boat....gently down the stream...." the difference is, we were not rowing down the stream, we were rowing in the middle of the sea and it's not gentle as far as i remember....no matter how hard we row, the sail juz seems to stay on the same location...it was really tiring....until i got blisters all over my hand and my ass hurts....for the first hour, there were no wind and we can't put up the sails...so we practically row till our hearts out.....keep praying for wind...if not....we have to row for good 6 hours( the expedition takes 6 hours, with wind of course)....finally, the wind came and we put up the sails...at last can rest a bit.....still, had to row at times.....when we started sailing, we sang rod steward's "Sailing" ....." sailing, i am sailing, home again, 'cross the sea....." towards the end, we were singing..." dying, i am dying..................." and that's when we started to appreciate the mode of transportation we have besides whailer....even bicycle was faster, not talking bout a car...we sail pass pangkor island and pangkor laut resort....well, we were passed-by by the speed boats used to ferry those holiday makers going towards pangkor laut and they waved at us....man!! we felt so jealous and dumb and started wondering why were we here rowing like mad dogs....Well, in sailing....i learnt that we really need the cooperation and momentum and team work....if we dun work together, we will go no where....juz stay at the same spot in the middle of the sea....i never spent 6 hours on the sea before and i experienced it by sailing....when we finally touch the land 6 hours later, we started asking each other...." i am suprised that ur arms are still attached....thought u dropped it in the sea.."

If u think that's all for the day...u r wrong....after some washing up, once again we packed our bags and board onto a boat where we were heading towards some island and camped there for a night....cleared the place and set up tents.....the washroom was "wonderful"...like old days where we have to dig a hole and poo...although we dun have to dig a hole, there were no flushing system...so, it's as well as digging a hole....we had fly sheets as doors and pipes to wash our shit away....and i had my bath in a cubicle that has shit floating...it's really a "toilet"...gosh!! never i experienced it before....after dinner, i went straight to bed...so tired....but then, at 4am, i was on duty for watch...so, stoned there for 2 hours....sat at the beach staring at the shore line where they actually have glowing seashells washed up....all night, i was seeing thunder...and prayed that it won't rain...but maybe God has other plans, and it kept raining all the way till we reach the base camp again.....it was not a nice ride as it was freezing nor a nice weather to clean up the tents and washed up everything....gosh!! i was freezing to my bones but still had to wash the tents and pitch them up to dry......there cleaning the tents and fly sheets under the rain, we were actually wondering why did we actually put ourselves in this situation...it so much more nicer to stay at home with the air condition, clean and warm clothes, nice cup of coffee instead or camping with bunch of mosquitoes nor spending hours in the rain....however, it still comes back to the same point: to serve, to yield and not to strive...

Finally, get to go home.....and was having a fever on the way back...i was in a van that had no head rest on my seat and the road was so bumpy.....i was so sleepy and yet didn't have the chance to sleep.....at one moment i actually thought my brain jumped out from my skull and dislocate my neck....by the time i reached home, i had no extra strength to even walk cuz the fever was high enough....changed into pyjamas and jumped into the soft bed and warm blanket.....

It was really and experience and i hope i have the chance to go again.....to experience again rowing like arms are no longer mine or feels like i practically left my legs on the shore and my arms on the sea.....

Memories...

So here we stand

In our secret place

Where the sound of the crowd

So far away

And you take my hand

And it's feels like home

We both understand

It's where we belong

So how do I say

Do I say goodbye?

We both have our dreams

We both wanna fly

So let's take tonight

To carry us through

The lonely times

I'll always look back

As I walked away

This memory will last

For eternity

And all of our tears

Will be lost in the rain

When i find my way back

To your arms again

But until that day

You know you are

The queen of my heart

M I R A C L E

So, went back to college to get results this morning and was told that the results were not out yet as my lecturer is still holding the results....gosh! and we were told that today we can collect the results slips....haha!! thought i had an empty ride all the way from PJ to Subang....but in the end i thought of dropping by lecturer's room.....then after some introduction of what i am currently doing, we went into the main topic.....yeah, I PASS ALL MY PAPERS!! seriously, PRAISE LORD!! it's really miracle that i pass.....i thought i was going to fail so badly that i even prepare myself for the worst before i collect my results...."LORD, grant me the serenity to accept things that i cannot change" ...that's how bad it is....somehow, i had this feeling that God is with me and i didn't have sleepless nights before the results were out....i sleept perfectly well compare with other nights....THANK GOD!!

Somehow, these days....i have open my eyes to God's miracle...seriously....everywhere i see....i found His miracle....my cousin's grandma was saved, and my mum's friend's child which was only 900g when she was born was saved, and i passed my exams even though i know perfectly well that i would have failed.....seriously, if not because there exists miracle, they were long gone....

To those out there who feel dejected, outcast, a total failure and idiot, watever u are going through is a test from God and He will not put u through tests without helping u nor tests that are beyond ur ability....if u think watever u are going through is not something that u can take, it's His tests trying to prove to u that u have much more in u that u have not realise all this while....look inside u, search much deeper that u never been and u will see that there are much more goodness in u that u have not seen, not until u are put through tests.....miracle does happen...have faith and don't give up easily.....it's not about the conclusion nor the results, it's about wat have u learn and gain throughout the process....the rest, are juz secondary.....So ppl, shake off the feeling of lonely, sadness, disappointment, hopeless and embrace the ray of light, of hope and of all, miracle........