I Will Be Still....

It's been a long, long time...I think there are molds on my blog already...haha!! Can't help it seriously, was so busy with that annoying, pathetic DESIGN PROJECT...this design project runs for the whole 3rd year, from semester 1 to semester 2 and year 3 life just revolve around it.... that's why I am utterly suprise that I am still alive....But, that design project taught me a lot of things...partly, knowledge in chemical engineering, and above all, it's another lesson from God....

Since the second semester started, for all the time that I have, it's all dedicated to design project...eat, sleep, shit, shower, that design project just stay with me all the time....because of it, I had weird sleeping time....I dun get to take afternoon nap anymore, because I will lay awake on the bed, starring at the ceiling, trying to force myself to sleep.....95% of the time, it won't work....in the end, I will just get up and continue to work even though I was already super exhausted....at night, I will sleep at 5 am and then wake up at 9 am just to continue to work....You guys must be wondering whether do I go to class....Because of this design project, I have little class...monday I have 9 am till 4 pm...Wednesday 9 am to 11 am and friday 11 am till 4 pm...that's all for class...the rest of time, it's for us to work on the project....

Towards the end, we all get so bored with it...seriously, it takes all the life from us...we have nothing else to think and do besides design project....Untill when the project finally, officially ended, we have no idea what to do with our time....suddenly felt the freedom, but dunno what to do with it....fresh air again.....probably my other classmates spend it by sleeping all they can...cuz we were all so deprived of sleep....The last week was the worst: monday hand in 30 pages with additional 25 pages of appendices, tuesday break, wednesday hand in poster, thrusday presentation, friday final group report....I seriously dunno how did we manage...for that last week, we practically camped in school....each group sort of have their own "camping" ground, and u will know exactly where to find them for the whole week....same spot...my group, let's see....go to school at 9.30 am, and go home at 12 am....wonderful?

2 weeks before the submission date, I was panicking already...Haven't even started a single page of the individual report...not to say I haven't done any research, but I dunno how to start the report...haha!! then, I bought tickets for All England....and it's weekend ticket, which means I get to watch the quarters, semis and finals....that was good 3 whole days gone not doing anything....but the good thing is, I get to experience the atmosphere of watching the game live...on the semi-finals day, my seat was directly at the corner where the players head to after their game, and where they have the press conference....haha!! I got signature of Peter Gade, the korean coach, Denmark's men double team, Lu Lan and Chen Jin....I wasn't that all desperate k, those ppl were like crashing to my seat just to get the players signature....And my seat was so near and yet dun plan to get signatures, a bit weird right...so, I also pakai layan only...haha!! In the end, the ticket where all the signatures were on, I just chuck it on my table....LEE CHONG WEI won!!! the 100th All England!!!

How can I enjoy so much when I perfectly know I have dateline one week later? Good question...One and a half week before submission date, I came across this passage...it was about God multiplying time...How God miraculously multiply food enough for 5000...that's when I realise that no matter what ordeal God put you into, He will provide the chance, and exact time for us to rest...somehow, peace just came upon me and suddenly, I felt strength within me...Come what may, I will have ample of time to finish it...during the last week, I was constantly working...not feeling any fatigue though stay up late night and wake up early the next morning...and then, the afternoon before submission day, our lecturer posted up message and told us that the submission date was postponed....how great it that? after reading the message, I straight away shut down my laptop and go to bed....but in the end, I din get to sleep as well...cuz body clock already altered....by saturday, I finished the report and was waiting to hand in on monday....This, is how great God's grace, and how mighty He is...And, the greatest planner above all....

There's another thing that I learnt...there is this girl in my group...I really salute her....she is the not-officially-elected leader in our group..there is no leader in my group, but somehow everyone listened to this girls' advise...or work around it...we somehow can work in compromise...for the whole year, she was constantly pushing everyone in all direction...till the very last week, I was standing at the very edge already....another push, I was so gonna fall into the cliff...little did I know, because of this, my so call "edge" had been extending unknowingly...Unconciously, I was exploring, searching deeper within me that I din know ever exist...during the design project, I used to complain about her so much, angry, pissed off...nevertheless, I never threw any argument with her before....practising my patience...but now when I think back, if not because of her, my group will not get such high marks for our reports and presentations...so, it's really "you will not see why this happen, but when u look back, u will see the abstract behind it" kind of thing....never try, never know...

It's really true that God didn't put cracks all over our life to let us sulked on, to complain about, but to allow light, even the thinnest to shine through and light up the areas that we once thought dark....of all we know, even with this thin light, that we though it's nothing, not significant, will lead us out of darkness, guiding us home...If we manage to live by each day in faith, no matter how terrible the day has been, no matter how pathetic and how miserable the situation is, it will pass and fade away....what's left is the experience, lesson and wisdom we gain from the torment, which we can never get it out from books...and those knowledge, is our eternal treasure...Thus, let's learn to see things from God's eyes, laugh with every sadness, pain and sorrow....embrace them with arms open and view them from a different perspective, our reward will come, eventually....